Friday, October 9, 2009

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Babies Are Stupid

-Really? Eating a remote? You've eaten food before. You know damn well it doesn't have buttons on it.

This shit is my point exactly. I don't want any babies of mine chillin' on the ground naked eating remote controls. I'm putting my foot down now before that hell child even exists. Today alone, I had three (count them 3) stupid baby incidents.

1st moment: On the T this morning, baby sitting with his mom (clearly dumb as shit) has a rubber band in his hand. I'm thinking, "How'd this baby get a rubber band? I sure hope he doesn't hurt himself with it." Low and behold he springs the rubber band right into his cheek. Tears and crying to start off my day. Wonderful.

2nd moment: Lunchtime. I see a dad (miserable) walking with his son. The son all of a sudden just sits down for no reason. The dad's confused, but chooses to wait it out for reasons I don't understand. Then the kid gets up, proceeds to turn around walk. Here's where he gets dumb as shit. He's walking toward a wall. He sees the wall. He makes a calculated decision to slam into the wall. Tears, crying, and he knew he was going to walk into the wall. God dammit.

3rd moment: I called a woman today at work and in the middle of the conversation she says, "Tommy, don't go near the toilet...ohhh nooo", I said "Haha, crazy dogs", she retorted with, "Umm, that was my son"...Oh. Needless to say that conversation ended soon after. I'm fed up with these babies.

Ok, don't give me the "their brains aren't developed" spiel, I have seen an ant reason it's way out of a tough situation. I've seen plants adapt to things better than baby humans can. What the hell. I know I wasn't like that. I was calmly waiting to talk, while being an overall law abiding citizen. No eating remotes, toilets, or walking into walls for me.

Just reading books and eating vegetables for Baby Jeezy.

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