Tuesday, October 13, 2009

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Why I'm Moving To California So Very Soon

Woke up today and realized that I was wearing a long sleeve t-shirt, an undershirt, sweatpants, and socks while having the most intimate relationship with a blanket that any man can have with anything. Still, I was shivering. Shivering god dammit. Matt Lauer and Meridith Viera informed me that Boston was pushing a brisk 36 degrees today.

25 minutes ago, I got out of the chair, put on my hat, and ran down the hill to Walgreens. You can already guess that I was outside my mind. I spent a solid 15 minutes staring back in forth at my debit card and a Snuggie. It was as if the song Guilty Conscience had an additional verse featuring Dre and Eminem arguing about whether I should buy a Snuggie or deodorant. Dr. Dre steered me in the right direction and I came out with some Old Spice and not a body blanket.

Is it bad if I am seriously debating bringing the George Foreman grill into my room and leaving it on all night? I get that insta-sickness when i walk into my crib. I recently saw a mosquito die when it landed on my window. The window killed a mosquito...

Snuggie it is, Eminem.

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