Tuesday, February 22, 2011

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I Shouldn't Be THAT Pumped About Eating McDonald's Breakfast

Woke up like it was Christmas morning yesterday. Holidays mean one thing to the kid Dub Jeezy: an ample opportunity to "treat" myself to a hearty Mickey Deez breakfast.

As I was sitting there giggling like a mofo, stuffing my face with hash browns and sausage biscuits, I took a second to evaluate things. It was like facing the fact I was an alcoholic or something. I was far too excited about 1) making it to a fast food outlet for the breakfast meal before 10:30AM 2) seeing the breakfast menu in real life, and not in my dreams. Some genuinely concerning shit.

The atmosphere wasn't exactly "poppin" either. There were like three maybe four bums strewn throughout the establishment. When you can't decide whether one person in a group of bums is a bum or not, you're not in a good place. Can't overlook that they have a sandwich that is at least 1/3rd egg made within 15 seconds either. Shit's definitely gross. I just overlook it. It's like dating that hot girl who has undeniable flaws that will slowly eat away at you as time goes on. Except it's a sausage, egg, and cheese on a biscuit. Tomato, Tomatoe.

It's damn near Wednesday and I'm still buzzin' from that meal like I saw a sick concert or some shit. I'm inches away from getting the budget Dr. Phil on the line and checking myself into some rehab.

PS. Why is every McDonald's commercial littered with black people these days? Was I brainwashed?

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