So This Dude Blew A 0.627 On The Breathalyzer

"When police asked him what day it was, he replied 'three but now it is four'."

0.627? Gollllllly, that's pure rubbing alcohol, mixed with Listerine and Neutrogena facial cleanser. Dude must have injected that shit straight into his heart to the point where he became more alcohol than human. Walking around like a live-action bottle of Remy Martin, causing chaos on the road and answering questions that weren't even close to being asked.

He looks like one of those scary drunks too. That friend you have that never gives off any of the signs like, slurred speech, red eyes or woobly movements. The one that just sits in the corner, doesn't talk to anyone, but keeps slugging back straight whiskey. You know he's not ok, but frankly you're afraid to ask. Well maybe it's time to start checking up on your creepy drunk friend more often. There's that small chance that their blood may be 63 percent alcohol.

"Hey, man, you alright?"

"Tomb Raider was a good game, but Crash Bandicoot was better"