Wednesday, August 22, 2012

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I Think Florida Has It Right

Myths? What myths? All I see is fact, truth and real talk. Shall we review?

Pregnancy Prevention:

Mountain Dew - Yellow. Number. Five. That shit is like the Raid Bug Spray of sperm. Plus there is a TON of other shit in there that makes The Dew wildly unsafe and unpredictable. I know for a fact that I lost at least 10 good years off of my life and probably don't have a spleen. Ideal birth control.

Marijuana - Weed doesn't prevent pregnancy. It prevents people from doing anything that can make someone pregnant. It's either raining or balls ass hot in Florida, so if you combine that with weed, people ain't moving much. No babies.

AIDS Prevention:

Capful of bleach - While I wouldn't advise this, I'm pretty sure a capful of bleach can prevent, well, anything. It can prevent you from going to work tomorrow, doing your homework, calling your Grandma on her birthday and getting AIDS. You just have to deal with that whole "dying" thing. Once you conquer that, you're AIDS-free.

Do you, Florida. Do you.

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