Monday, August 20, 2012

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What's Up With These Better, Faster, Stronger 48 Hour Hangovers?

Very serious question: Is anyone else still hungover? Because I think I am. Or I had like 7 aneurysms today. Not really sure, but I'm kinda scared.

What happened? I truly think my liver is in the process of calling it quits. It's like 2016 Kobe Bryant taking the same amount of shots and getting pissed when it gets taken out of the game. My liver still thinks it can process beer, wine, shot combos like it used to, but if this weekend was any indication, it needs to prepare a retirement speech and look into how it wants to invest it's 401k.

The typical hangover is always rough. You wake up like you're pulling your head out of a bucket of water. Gasping for air, confused at your surroundings and a likely confusion of whether you're hungry or not. All standard stuff. What's not standard is waking up on Monday feeling literally the exact same way. I woke up and convinced myself that I was sick for about an hour. Then I thought I didn't sleep well. Then I realized I was potentially still somehow drunk. Not full on drunk, but a recognition that my liver was still processing alcohol at an embarrassingly slow pace.

I almost started crying on the train because this wasn't a war story that I wanted to tell. But then the whole "I have a blog and a God complex" thing kicked in and I immediately broke down. This is for you 24ish guys and gals that are starting to see their fastball drop, their ability to get out of the blocks dwindle and feel like they have gum on their shoe during every step they take. It's slowing down, but that doesn't mean we're out of this. We just have to adjust and get crafty. Develop a post game or some shit. I don't know, but I think the best method as of now is to drink 200 glasses of water a day.

I'd rather go out drowning in H20 than have to look up "What does it mean if you're STILL hungover?" on Google ever again.

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