Wednesday, March 27, 2013

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Aaron Carter Is Plotting To Kidnap Chicks In Miami On May 19th

Ah, the ol' "I'm going to rent a yacht, so meet me there and I'll kidnap you forever" play.  Haven't seen this move used in while, but when you're desperate, you're desperate.  And folks,  Aaron Carter is absolutely FUCKING desperate.  Dude would probably sing in your living room if you gave him a pack of Swedish Fish and a futon to sleep on.

But seriously girls, if you're visiting Miami on May 19th, DO NOT GET ON THAT YACHT.  You'll probably die with a 100% chance of never being seen again.

Ever took a look at meth-crazed Aaron Carter?

It ain't pretty.  Those are kidnapping eyes if I've ever seen them.  But hey, maybe it'll work out and you'll have an awesome time doing meth and hooking up with Aaron Carter.  I'm not a psychic, just a guy that's been around the block a few times.  Good luck, ladies.

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  1. bengalengs said... March 28, 2013 at 6:14 PM

    That is the most terrifying photo I've ever seen

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