Wednesday, March 13, 2013

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Our Newest Great National Nightmare: SINKHOLES

America, we're in trouble.  Sinkholes are the Osama Bin Laden of the ground and they are doing everything they can to destroy us.

They already got China:
Poor girl literally just fell into the ground and disappeared forever.  And she definitely hit her head on the way down and didn't finish her phone conversation.  It sucks to see someone die via falling forever, but it was always something I thought wouldn't affect me.  Shit officially got real when CNN found out about sinkholes and dudes were falling into holes while they were sleeping. That's when it turned  into national news.  That's officially when I started doing Wikipedia research and learned how best to protect myself.

According to this diagram:

it's a god damn crap shoot.  Just a "hope I don't live on a sinkhole" type of situation.  It's like a 10 year old, hopped-up on Mountain Dew and Nerds played Sim City with Earth and forgot to put dirt in certain spots.  I'm super startled, you guys and I don't know what to do.  

Eh, fuck it.  If you can't beat 'em, join em.  Sinkholes: ∞ Us: -100

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