Tuesday, November 19, 2013

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In Case You Were Wondering, The 2013 "Word Of The Year" Is "Selfie"

Welp, I need to find a way to sneak on to Richard Branson's spaceship to Mars because it's officially a wrap for Earth.  Tough year for "Equality", "Peace", "Tolerance."  They just didn't have what it takes this year.  Don't worry, a word signifying the action of taking a picture of yourself took it down this year.  Makes perfect, logical sense.

Call me old, call me out of touch, but I have never taken a #Selfie.  Too ugly for that nonsense.  No one wants to see it, plus I'm confident that boogers make it a point to appear any time that I have to take a picture.  With that said, people make a living with them.  I've been on Instagram for like 20 minutes and every other picture is a "model" taking a picture of herself in a mirror equipped with barely any clothes on, her duck face and thousands upon thousands of "not good enough to post" pics on her phone.  It's the world we live in.  Not saying I hate it, but it's reinforcing the fact that I'm jumping off of the Empire State Building if I have a daughter.

Before I stowaway on Branson's Virgin Apollo 13, I'll take the opportunity to present the good, bad and ugly of #Selfies. 

The Good:

Chick in the back is PISSED that she got blocked out of the Pope selfie.

Serious question: Did he kill that dude on the left, take his phone and photograph himself?  Love squirrels, man.

The Bad:

If this was graded on effort, she'd win.

Aaron, I've been meaning to talk to you about this pic. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.

Not bad in the traditional sense or in the new that chick is "bad" sense.  I mean, things are ON POINT, but I'm now rendered unable to bring a daughter into this world without jumping off of a building.

The Ugly: 

"Let me capture my baby crying with shit in his pants so I can get these 14 likes"

Queen Bey dropped from a 10.0 to a 9.9999 with this one.  Ladies, if it's not broke don't fix it.

I don't like this one bit.

The fact that you can Selfie within a video game means I've drafted an email to Richard Branson (Lance Bass cc'd) inquiring about space travel.  Seriously.

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