Wednesday, November 13, 2013

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Officially Done With Dolphins

This was me last year at around the same time of year.  It was a simpler time and I was as happy and plastic looking as a boy can be.  I was dancing with dolphins and being an awesome boyfriend.  Things were good.  Then the dolphin stories started swirling around.  Word got out that they were violent killers, sexual deviants and overall bad animals.  Their response: not giving a shit.  It's like your favorite protagonist on a TV show turning into a villain.  I wanted to believe all of this wasn't true, but even I draw the line at this:

This is 100% the most disrespectful shit that I have ever seen.  Having sex with a decapitated fish is the end all be all for dolphin reputation.  This dude was LOVING it too.  Just a pure psychopath exhibitionist on display behind the glass.  Fuck dolphins, man.

PS. Fuck koalas too:

PPS. You would think that I replaced my picture with a black "Ken" doll for identity reasons, right?  Nope.  1) Black Ken looks fantastic.  2) I was smiling HARD in that picture and now I am really concerned that I was being diddled by the dolphin.  I got duped bad. 

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