Tuesday, August 25, 2009

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Can I Get That $252M Mega Millions Jackpot?

I preordered like 35 of these shirts in extra medium because I am not close to being afraid of the 1 in 175,711,536 odds. Because like Kevin Garnett said, "ANYTHING IS POSSIBBLLLEEEEE!!"

I have already acquired a lawyer, an accountant, and a 6'9 bodyguard named Winslow to deal with the rush that is going to come at me in a few hours. Guys, I have already changed my phone number so don't call me, I'll call you. I already purchased a bus ticket to New York City so I can get to my inevitable Today Show interview, Conan O'Brien appearance, and SNL hosting job quicker. All my friends out there, I will take care of you all. My plan is to essentially steal the Entourage lifestyle complete with filming my own personal rendition of the intro-theme so that every time I open the door to my mansion I recognize how awesome I am. It's going to be sweet, I'll see you guys in Malibu.

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