Wednesday, August 24, 2011

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"Caveman Strategy" Cuts The Bullshit And Dominates The Bar Pickup Game

Apparently the move these days is literally just finding a girl you find attractive and "taking" her. Not sure about rules and regulations anymore, but I'm pretty sure that's kidnapping, or pre-rape, or something that requires a judge and jury.

But since I'm running out of tricks these days, I will 100% look into this option on an experimental basis. The idea of a real-conversation has to be thrown out of the window completely to even venture into this world of fuckery. None of that asking about school or jobs bullshit with caveman style, just straight to the point whiskey, eye-contact, clubs to the head, and a yoga mat to safely drag girls out on. That puts witty cats like me at an extreme disadvantage. I'm just a three jokes and out kind of guy. If plan A, B, or C fail, I'm on-to-the-next-oneing that chick immediately. Can't waste time out there when you're punched into Friday or Saturday night. Caveman strategy really cuts your time by like a million %. Just look at a girl, potentially growl at her, grab the wrist, and see if you're not in the back of a police cruiser. Shit takes like 30 seconds. Granted it's absurdly creepy, but that's the reason why we're here.

It's not THAT bad when you think the reason you're here is because your caveman ancestor most certainly blasted your cavewoman ancestor in the head with a wooden club and "took" her.

Actually, that's really bad, nevermind.

4 Reactions to this post

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  1. Anonymous said... August 24, 2011 at 11:21 PM

    that cave broad is smoking!

  2. Anonymous said... August 25, 2011 at 7:45 AM

    cavewomen couldn't shave, shower, or shampoo. I think it's a different story nowadays. Just sayin'

  3. Dub Jeezy said... August 25, 2011 at 9:43 AM

    a different story indeed.

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