Monday, August 8, 2011

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Friends Ask Dub: "Would You Rather Be An Awesome Singer Or Awesome Dancer?"

^convinced WMD has used this exact picture like 10 times in various posts.

Dangerously devious question indeed friend. After pondering this one all day, I still haven't come to a definitive answer. On one count, I basically side with whatever option gets me the most women and money, but I guess both of these can provide you that. I'll just do what I always do and dive in head first without a life-jacket or the ability to swim.

Now I know this isn't the case for everyone, but I'm black and have the innate ability to dance. Shit is just easy for us because we can actually hear beats. I'm not elite or anything, but I can do enough to not look like a fool on a Friday/Saturday/Tuesday? night. That being said, singing has always been my Great White Buffalo. The skill I always wanted, but was simply not talented enough to do. So the easy answer would be singing, but I'd be doing you a disservice if I didn't dig a little deeper on a solid "would you rather" question.

I looked at the peaks for both fields. As a singer you can experience mass fame and fortune while not doing much at all. You're basically talking at different pitches in front of people. That's like if I inhaled helium in a Public Speaking class. Not that hard. It's basically a cake walk to happiness and prosperity if you keep your head on straight. Butttt, if you're like me, you don't have your head on straight. That means you're going to be SHITFACED literally every night, maintain no close relationships, and most likely develop a complicated addiction to ecstasy and Purple Drank. It'd be Amy Winehouse-city for your boy after a couple multi-platinum albums.

Dancing on the other hand, is a little more low-key. You're definitely working a lot harder and you're definitely paid a ton less than a singer. The peak is like Cirque de Soleil or some shit. Maybe Justin Timberlake's backup dancer--hell, Jennifer Lopez married one of her backup dancers, so that's not entirely a bad gig if you were matched up with a slut like Rihanna. Life would be a little bit more of a grind, but you'd appreciate things more because nothing would be handed to you. Probably a loving girlfriend/wife, no drugs or questionable purple liquids, and most of all, the sneaky small chance you bag a A-List singer-slut like Rihanna. Blue-collar all the way.

Answer: You can find me and Paul Wall inebriated off of codeine and Sprite at Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles. I'll go with wildly successful singer and just hope Dr. Drew can cure me in season 27 of Celebrity Rehab.

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  1. Anonymous said... August 9, 2011 at 8:14 AM

    even though that was essay length, it was a great read

  2. Anonymous said... August 9, 2011 at 12:00 PM

    i find you thoroughly hilarious.

    hot tub time machine link was perff

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