Wednesday, August 3, 2011

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How Will The World Take To The First Black Spiderman?

I'll go on the record saying I'd literally be the wackest Spiderman to ever do it. They'll revoke my web cartridges and have repo-men coming to take my suit within 2 weeks.

First off, I ain't fuckin' with the whole "swinging from buildings" thing. That's not my bag at all. I'd casually swing from low-hanging telephone poles and building awnings, allowing criminals to defeat me simply by going to the roof of any building in the city. I'll probably be slightly more effective than the local police, but not enough to justify having spider powers. Granted, I'll take complete advantage of it. "Accidentally" webbing hot girls' feet to the ground at bars, so they are forced to hear at least 3 pickup lines before scurrying away, getting hit by expensive vehicles in crosswalks to subsequently sue when my 2 weeks of heroics are up, and become a dominant summer-league basketball players. Jam city on these hoes.

I didn't want to say anything, but my man is sweating. I'd definitely put an index card in the comment box requesting a linen suit.