Wednesday, April 18, 2012

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What's Going On In The Girls Bathroom?

No, not the hoodrat, Detroit-based, docu-horror-dramedy "The Girls Bathroom", this one:

If there's one thing know nothing about, it's the fucking women's bathroom. Obviously I shouldn't know the ins and outs of the place, but I literally have zero clue about anything involved with it. What's the construction like? What do you guys have in place of urinals?

This may be a figment of my imagination, but I was convinced that I saw a couch in a girl's bathroom years back. Blew my mind to pieces. If there are actually couches in there, we need to have a HOUSE MEETIN' YA'LL. But seriously, I may send a letter to the United States Bathroom Commissioner about gender equality. I'm grinding every day STANDING around like a jackass if all the stalls/urinals are being used. All I'm saying is if there were couches in the guy's bathroom, I may or may not have 10 years added to my life expectancy. Now I'm going to die relatively old with wobbly bathroom worn knees.

Plus there must be some sort of draw to the girl's room. You guys regularly go in packs, never really seem to have to go, and spend at least 45 minutes in there. The "cocaine is a helluva drug" excuse is too easy, I think there's something fishy going in there. I think we should all stop wondering if Jay-Z is in the Illuminati, and get a non-creepy, not-that-hidden camera in the girl's bathroom.

If there are karaoke machines, Sega Dreamcasts, and snow cone machines in there, I'm going to be so pissed.

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