Monday, April 9, 2012

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Topical: I Tried To Instagram This Picture Of An Asshole Pigeon, But I Quickly Realized I Don't Know How To Use Instagram

Because this blog is a desperate attempt to be cool and relevant, I obviously had to post about this Instagram business. Facebook bought it for 1 billion dollars (which is completely stupid) and that's where my knowledge of anything related to this situation stops.

What this is really about: this fucking pigeon. I posted this on my Facebook wall with a brief description of what happened. Moral of the story, this bird was REALLY about THAT life. He parked himself on the busiest street on my path to work and refused to move. He knew what was going on. Everyone's like, "That pigeon definitely has kidney failure" and "Why'd you take a picture of a pigeon, that's really weird", but those people don't get it. They didn't see what I see. I saw evolution in progress. I saw a pigeon that knowingly gave zero fucks. As much as I want to give respect to him, I just can't because he didn't respect me. If pigeons aren't clearing out when you enter their 5 foot radius, you don't have enough testosterone. I don't have enough testosterone.

(I seriously tried to instagram this. I signed up, realized I didn't actually sign up, accidentally linked it to Facebook, couldn't unlink it to Facebook, deleted it, couldn't re-download it, downloaded it twice, tried again, couldn't use my email address again, forgot the password I created, and deleted it again. Good luck with that bullshit Zuckerberg)