Monday, April 30, 2012

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How Bad Does This Promotional Bear At My Gym Want To Kill Himself?


If you think your life sucks, fret not, because you my friend are not a dude dressed up as a bear promoting tanning oil.

I went through all the stages of emotion with this thing. Came into the gym confused with a, "Why is there a dude in a fucking bear suit roaming around?" attitude and immediately moved to anger. My man was TERRORIZING the gym. Curling weights that made no sense in a desperate attempt to try to be funny. We get it, it's absolutely zany to curl a 10lb weight and 20b weight at the same time. Benching the bar in the bear suit like an asshole. Stop it, bro.

Then I started to feel bad for it. I mean it IS a grown man dressed as a bear suit in a pretty warm gym. He is subtly staring at girls, but he knows he has no shot because again, he's dressed as a bear. As a last ditch effort to justify his existence, my man hopped on the treadmill for one of the saddest photo-ops I have ever seen. He was jogging at level 1.2, incline 0.7 looking as disheveled and out of shape as a bear-suited man could possibly look.

Maybe work sucked today and maybe your girlfriend dumped you, but rest assured that you were NOT dressed as a bear sweating your ass off trying to sell Darque Tan. Rock bottom.

3 Reactions to this post

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  1. Anonymous said... May 12, 2012 at 6:15 PM

    Your an asshole dude that bears me, I don't recall lifting not one thing, I get a decent amount of pussy, oh and I'm in pretty good shape considering the fact that I'm a judo master and played football my whole life..... I'll be honest with you though the first paragraph was funny material.

  2. Anonymous said... May 15, 2012 at 12:00 AM

    I drive past that bear everyday and i could only say he makes one too many cars beep n laugh dubb jeezy also too ad bear looks in good shape on the treadmill you should post a pic up of what you look like on the treadmill n lay off the keypad big guy

  3. Dub Jeezy said... May 16, 2012 at 5:53 PM

    first of all, it's shocking and downright impressive how physically fit I am for a blogger.

    secondly, my bad bear, I didn't know a real life person with feelings and a soul was in there.

    third, are you actually the bear?

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