Friday, February 3, 2012

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Facebook Friday #?

And definitely forgot what number this is. Far too lazy to search for it. With that said, thanks for the submissions everyone. Enjoy.

1. South-African White Kid Deemed Not “Black” Enough To Win “African-American” Award
Because WMD loves rehashing hot-button stories from 8 years ago, this is right up my alley. I always wondered what it would be like to meet a white person who was born in Nigeria, but living in America. Pretty sure my head would explode if he was checking off more extensive “race” bubbles on standardized tests than me and talking like Dikembe Mutombo. Though I didn’t read the whole story, I saw that all of this took place in Omaha, Nebraska where I’m zero bit surprised that a “The Most Awesome Black Kid In The School” award exists. Shout out to Clinton, NY. Thanks ER.

2. 5 Minute Chocolate Cake In A Cup Recipe
I’m not really a dessert guy, but it would be a god damn smack in the face if one of my parents made me a cake in a cup. Pageantry. That’s the word here. In my youth, I use to beg and plead for the most baller cake around and then not eat a fucking bite. Mainly because I’m a dick, but also because a cake is as much about appearance as is the flavor. Can’t have a birthday party with a bunch of solo cups filled with 5 minute stomach virus cake. That’ll get you beat up on the playground so quick, it’d make your head spin. Thanks Spellgirl.

3. Rick Santorum Goes HAM On Saying Stupid Shit (I Know This Video Isn't Real)

Dude is like one of those action figures that when you pull the string in the back, some really outrageous statement comes out. Because I’m so far removed from the issues and only care about blogging, girls, and video games, I could care less about politics. But no matter how you cut it, this man is straight up out of his mind. Pretty sure he hates everything that ends in the letter “y”..and contraception. A first ballot Playa Haters Ball Hall of Famer. Thanks ER.

4) What Would It Be Like To Party With Josh Hamilton Before He Got Off The Sauce?

If you didn’t know, alcoholic Texas Rangers superstar Josh Hamilton pulled an Eminem and relapsed off the booze at the bar last night. Ho hum. I relapse every 5 days, no biggie. ::Wikipedias Josh Hamilton:: Oh shit, this dude did CRACK and HEROINE. Scratch what I said before, dude just opened the gateway into the land of rusty train tracks and back-alleys. That said, I’d absolutely LOVE to party with Josh Hamilton. I just have to be cool to saying “Nah, I’m good” a lot. Otherwise, it’s a steady stream of free booze, steaks, crack whores, box seats, and multiple visits to the clinic. A charmed life indeed. Thanks CG.

5. How Bad Is The Super Bowl Halftime Show Going To Be?
I would rank this a 10 on a scale of ‘how bad this shit was going to be’, but the forecast for bitty flashing is unexpectedly high. Madonna and Nicki Minaj are two of the bitchiest bitches around, so I can imagine they are going to try to one-up each other at least 5 times. One comes out in a ridiculous outfit, the other does an acrobatic act, one rips her boob out, the other sets herself on fire. Halftime over, back to Al Michaels. It’s going to be really really bad. Thanks VB.

6. Kristen Bell Literally Hasn’t A Panic Attack Over Meeting A Sloth

I wouldn’t say I’d be thrilled with meeting a sloth, but god damn Kristen, clean it up. While I have grown to accept their multiple inefficiencies and not-give-a-fuck-ness, they are still sloths. I'm pretty sure when I watched a sloth show on the Discovery Channel, it said like 15 fire ants can kill a sloth in an hour. That’s extremely embarrassing. Kristen, you are a prime example of how hot girls skate through life. If this happened to any other type of person, they’d be a social pariah and on “The Maury Show” instead of Ellen. Thanks Tino.

Enjoy the weekend everyone!

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  1. V said... February 4, 2012 at 8:39 AM

    Love FB fridays!!! Keep em coming kid!!

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