Monday, February 6, 2012

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Tight-Rope Guy And Eastwood Won The Superbowl

If you're anything like me, you thought this Napoleon Dynamite motherfucker just strolled on to the field in some sort of Greek mythology costume. Probably the least likely cat to do whatever the hell he was doing out there bouncing on a trampoline rope(?) like a bawse. Basically, when you look like this guy, you are not expected to be in the Super Bowl half time show mid-air seducing Madonna. Extremely high odds that this kid may very well end up being the MLK Jr. for gingers with awkward afros.

Eastwood. Won. If you didn't utter those two words in unison, then something is wrong. I was ready to lease a Chrysler and run through a wall for this man. I literally have not a clue what he was talking about, but dude snarled like a crazy person with purpose. Had a real racist "Gran Torino" tone to his voice that essentially had me at "get off my lawn BOY" which he may or may not have said. I bet this shit was unscripted and they just let him walk down the street and mumble to himself. Gold.

Ahmad Bradshaw technically won the Superbowl, but at the same time, he certainly did NOT win the Superbowl:

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