Thursday, February 16, 2012

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Why I Don't Eff With The Ocean

1) I'm black and that stereotype is extremely true in my case.

2) Because motherfucking RUGS are eating Hammerhead sharks.

Can't do anything about #1 other than suck it up and stay in the vicinity of life vests. Problem #2 can be fixed very quickly by staying the fuck out of the ocean. When old upholstery has the capabilities to devour you whole, that's should ring some sort of bell in your brain. Got to feel for this other shark too. I can't imagine walking down the street on my way to lunch and having a rusty trash can leap out and swallow me whole. It's honestly no one's fault and can be chalked up to some piss poor luck.

PS. In all honesty, I'd rather go on a deep space mission than a deep sea mission. Scientists know roughly a zillion times more information about other galaxies than they do about 1000 feet under the sea. And I guarantee NO ONE knows why a 26 year old oriental rug is eating a hammerhead shark.

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