Wednesday, February 29, 2012

// //

School In A Bit Of Hot Water For Offering "KKK Chicken Tenders" At Lunch

Back in the day it would have taken a LOT to screw up chicken tender day, and I can assure you, "KKK" chicken would not be one of the reasons.

You borderline had to tell me the chicken tenders were made of dirt and scrap metal for me to begin considering not grabbing a tray on the 9th. Hell, when I was 8 the KKK was just a series of letters that described people dressed as ghosts and ghouls. And as a teenager I probably would have thought, "Unless these chicken-tenders are 'black people proof' I'm going to eat them." No matter how you cut it, racist chicken tenders are still chicken tenders and when it comes to school lunch there aren't many better options.

As a kid, you aren't really thinking about your health and could give a fuck less about calories/cholesterol. You're just looking at what tastes good. Here is my school lunch ranking system right off the top of my head:

1) Turkey Slop (never asked a single question about it)

2) Chicken Tenders

3) Pizza

4) Chicken Patties (made with the same material as chicken tenders, but infinitely worse)

5) Hot Dogs

1000) Tuna Casserole

The way I see it, the more time the KKK spends producing chicken products, the less time they have to burn crosses on lawns. Obviously, I'd prefer Purdue or Tyson brands, but as I said before, a chicken tender is a chicken tender.

3 Reactions to this post

Add Comment
  1. Anonymous said... March 1, 2012 at 12:17 AM

    you might be the funniest person on the internet

  2. Dub Jeezy said... March 1, 2012 at 10:18 AM

    i wouldn't go that far. definitely top 1000 though

  3. PostScripter said... March 1, 2012 at 10:47 AM

    Ham and cheese melt on a bagel

Post a Comment