Tuesday, February 28, 2012

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Yoga Petitioning To Become An Olympic Sport

Real talk, I'd probably die if I ever did yoga.

Every time I stretch, I pull at least three muscles and end up unable to perform the activity I was stretching for. I have this distinct memory of the flexibility test in gym class. Chicks averaging out at 18 inches, dudes getting 12, and Dub Jeezy pulling a super solid 2.8. I fucking got laughed at for being inflexible--borderline stuffed in a locker because I couldn't touch my toes without bursting into tears.

That said, I will watch the SHIT out of Olympic (women's) yoga. Hell, I'd even go as far to say that I should be a judge. No one, and I mean NO ONE analyzes anything in yoga pants quite like me. Just attach a secret camera to my head and watch the magic happen. If I don't get arrested fly me out to London.

Seriously though, if there's Olympic yoga, can there at least be Olympic blogging? I'll awkwardly dig into some ancestry documents, find out what African country I can "play" for and dive in. I may fuck around and become the pride of Tanzania for bringing the bronze medal to their country. A worldwide exhibition of dudes/chicks sitting in their underwear, scouring the internet for semi-funny shit. Beautiful.

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