Monday, October 1, 2012
Posted by Dub Jeezy // at 10:40 PM //
God dammit, Facebook, what are you doing? Don't you know "poking" is the worst, creepiest thing you can do aside from "liking" someones picture that you're not friends with?
I could never get into a rhythm with the poke button. At first I didn't get it and sent pokes out to everyone, dudes included. Quickly found out that was incorrect. Then once I realized they were meant for the opposite sex, I overdid it. Basically any chick I had class with received a poke. It was like a person that was meant to become a drug addict getting his first taste of heroin. So I quit cold turkey and haven't looked back since. Haven't sent out an errant poke since 2007. That being said, why is Facebook trying to get me to accidentally poke someone they "suggest."
What is this criteria for who I should poke? If there was ever a job that I was meant to have, it might be "Facebook Poke Suggestion Identifier." No other role can capture my creepiness/internet dominance so well. Just send me out in the field, let me hang out with all 500 million Facebook users for an hour and I GUARANTEE I will have the most accurate/painfully creepy composition of individuals for everyone to poke at their leisure.
Your move Facebook, I'm waiting to sign my contract.
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