No lie, it's DEFCON 5 right now. I'm pretty sure my TV is destroyed, my bed is in shambles and there are clothes everywhere. I even contemplated sticking my head in the oven, because no one can live like this. A small-medium sized spider crawled across the floor and I don't know where it is.
This is basically "call out sick" worthy if I can't find and brutally murder this crafty fucking arachnid by sunrise. Plus I'm just convinced it's watching me from a nook somewhere, spider-giggling and calling me a bitch under it's breath. Well yes, in this exact situation, I am a bitch. And honestly, what's really good with that "You eat 8 spiders a year" Snapple fact? Did Myth Busters get to the bottom of that, because they are not prioritizing themselves correctly if they didn't.
Yes, I agree I shouldn't have used nearly an entire container of Scrubbing Bubbles to kill a rogue spider, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Shit's probably a black widow or one of those red-flag spiders they show on the Discovery Channel.
Oh well, I'm just going to throw my "Aw Shit" face on...
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Add Commentyou have to move out within the hour if you can't find it
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