Tuesday, December 21, 2010

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Spiderman: Worst Musical EVER

So Conan O'Brien has been relentlessly mocking Spiderman: Turn Off The Dark (new musical on Broadway) by depicting the actors fighting each other in wheelchairs and neck braces (actors have been getting hurt left and right making this monster of a production). People have been getting kind of mad about Conan's mocking, but I'm here to tell you it's 100% ACCURATE.

 We were going to NYC when Poppa G snagged a few tickets because he is a nerd and so is my entire family, so naturally we want to see a comic book superhero in a musical written by Bono. We end up spending a few hours of our lives watching crazy Cirque De Soleil situations in which Spiderman thrashes outrageous looking, sometimes blow-up, super villains and jumps into the balconies above our heads repeatedly. 

In the last ten minutes of the play, Spiderman goes after Mary Jane to save her from falling off a building. He falls off a building and down a trap door. Problem is, immediately afterwards I hear screaming and someone yelling 'Call 911!" Apparently Spiderman was NOT supposed to fall off this building...

Audience is immediately kicked out... (no seriously, they were just like "Leave now") as an ambulance pulls up to escort the fallen Spiderman to the hospital. His tether broke and he got seriously injured falling 30 feet. All I can say is, "Did that really just happen? On BROADWAY?"

I'm sure director Julie Taymor had the best intentions, but you know what they say about the road to injured-actors disappointed-audience bad-press hell. Hey, maybe there's a reason action movies aren't musicals after all! Weird, right? I always thought Iron Man and Transformers would be better with singing...

So Conan, thanks for letting us know the error of the Spiderman musical ways. If only we listened to you surely the world would now be a better, safer, place. And that might be the scariest thought of all.

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