Wednesday, December 1, 2010

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How Unfortunate Would Your Life Be If You Were Named After Booze?



Props to that baby for having the dexterity to hold a beer bottle. I can barely do that shit at the bar let alone while being a baby that dad's haplessly carrying with one hand.

So consistently drunk singer Pink has come up with the non-life-scarring idea of naming her first born child after Jameson whiskey. Usually I make an effort to find a silver lining in a lot of the batshit crazy ideas out there, but this one is pretty tough. Coming from a kid with a bad first name, I feel for this kid. Like, everyone has that conversation with their Mom about where their name came from. Pink will NOT want to answer that question. She'll be fumbling her words and trying to change the subject. Probably drop a smoke bomb and disappear into the night or something. Because the truth would sound a little something like this, "Yeah, I thoroughly enjoyed getting all sorts of piss hammered prior to and during my pregnancy with you, so yeah, Jameson made sense."

Some scarring stuff if you ask me. I was pretty shaken when my Mom broke down and told me that I was named after "Winnie The Pooh", the overweight vagrant bear, that routinely stole honey and destroyed bee habitats. Not a cool thing to be named after. Name me something like "Falcon" or "Fox." Chime in Dad. A name like one of those would be weird on the come up, but around the high school and college years, you best believe I'll be a chick magnet. Didn't think ahead guys. Didn't think ahead...

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  1. Sam said... December 1, 2010 at 9:42 PM

    It's clearly the dad holding the bottle.

  2. Dub Jeezy said... December 1, 2010 at 11:39 PM

    grow up man

  3. G said... December 3, 2010 at 11:28 AM

    Winnie the Pooh's name is Winston?

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