Monday, December 13, 2010

// //

This 31 Foot Snowman Commands Zero Respect



Just a total bells and whistles operation. Really flashy without any substance. Essentially, this eyesore is the Kim Kardashian of snowmen.

Story goes: a ton of "bored" Polish folk decided it was a fantastic idea to spend 6 days creating a pretty shitty snow man. Call me a traditionalist here, but I liken a quality snowman to my boy Frosty. Dude was compiled of three perfectly sculpted snow spheres made exclusively from the waters of Lake Minnetonka, with Louis Vuitton buttons/scarf/top hat, and the most organic carrot imaginable. Classy all around. He had children on his coat tails, dudes trying to be him, and women wanting to be with him. That's how I envision my snow men. This thing above folks, is possibly the most opposite you can be from my description.

Apparently, they're pumped that they had the "ingenuity" to make his nose a traffic cone. Yeah, amateur hour would probably give you a round of applause, but not Dub J. To really get my attention you need to AT LEAST find the world's biggest carrot and use that as a nose--not a cone, shit's a joke. If I can see the laziness of your country in one picture, you need to step it up. Maybe bend physics a bit and make some sphere like objects instead of just dumping snow on top of other snow. If I had 6 days, a bulldozer, and a snow machine I would have absolutely crushed the Snow Man scene in Poland.

What is that, a fucking oil drum on his head? Ludicrous.