Tuesday, November 23, 2010

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Things To Stop: Appearing As The Random Creeper In Pictures

In light of Thanksgiving coming around, I want to avoid being thankful for anything, because frankly, it's not baller. Instead I want to improve upon some things. Namely, being that fucking weirdo in the background of pictures.

One of the worst feelings around is seeing an email that says "G tagged you in 7 pictures (oh by the way, you look weird/creepy in a majority of these)." Like, come on. A) Why didn't anyone ask me to be in these pictures? B) Did someone ask me to be in a pic and I just blatantly chose to pop up at the flash behind someone's shoulder? These are the power questions that I need answered before I check into therapy for Facebook-Picture-Insecurities (FPI...they'll put it on the psychological spectrum sooner or later).

Look at this dude pictured above. He's immortalized forever as that scary creeper that wanted to eat Jessica Simpsons children. For the time being, I'm that guy on a much smaller scale. Anytime someone takes a look at G's latest album I'll be on display looking like a god damn vagrant. Her friends are probably like, "Yo, 124 pictures were cool, but two of them really bothered me with that creepy guy peering over everyone's shoulders. I frankly can't look at your albums anymore." With that G, I'm sorry, it's the cross I bear. Sometimes I drink a pineapple juice, Sprite, Vodka concoction and shit goes awry.

Good luck on traveling home to your respective towns. It's going to be a bitch on the roads.

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