Monday, November 1, 2010

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First Reader Email: A) It's A Robot, B) I'm Pretty Sure It Wants Me, C) I'm Completely Down


EMAIL READS:
Hello!
May the blessings of the season rest upon your life. I found you here on this site and picked
interest in you. My name is lilian. I wish to be in good relationship with you and may be discover ourselves as real partners for life. Please send your email address in my inbox and not site please With this email adderss (##########@yahoo.com). If you feel interested write me through the contact. so that I will send you my pictures
(Remember the distance or colour does not matter but love matters alot in life). I will be happy to seeing a good responds from you
Thanks from my heart;
Yours in love,
lilian


Hmm. It appears we have a situation here. Aside from Lilian the robot wanting to exchange pics with the kid Dub J, it appears that "the distance or colour does not matter but love matters alot in life." Did not know that. That's either complete robot babble or some of the sweetest shit I have ever read. Also didn't know Lilian was the reincarnation of Langston Hughes, but sometimes it takes a garbled email of illiteracy and confusion to really express how you feel.

It took like 785 posts, but I finally got a woman to fall in love with me strictly because of my bonkers, off-the-wall writing. What post was it baby? The one about the drunken possum living in my old basement? Was it that creep Dick Palmer's post about the forbidden fruit? Oh, I bet it was Craw's post on how his style sucks. Either way, this blog is finally starting to pay off. Within a span of two days, we got a chick to write for us and a hopelessly romantic email from an most assured robot. I mean, it's not like I received a prize or something ,but the victories are small and few here.

So I believe it's time for me to pick out two of my favorite lines from this gem:

-May the blessings of the season rest upon your life- Whoa. Lillian is certainly starting this thing off on fire. Her spirit is a turn on. Her word choice and robotness is a turn off

-I wish to be in good relationship with you and may be discover ourselves as real partners for life.-Lillian I'm in no position as a borderline bad internet blogger to deny you right off the bat. If you're as hot as Rosie, we can give it a go.

Wonder what the 2nd email will entail.



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  1. Anonymous said... November 2, 2010 at 4:37 AM

    unless she's german, the proper rupel exchange rate is 1 proper capitalist dollar=31 rubles and youll prob have to talk to sergei, dont buy his fasttalk if hes aiming any higher than that

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