Monday, November 22, 2010

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What's The Skreel With These Farm Animals?

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It's tough to break down these pics because frankly..I don't know what's going on. I can only imagine this is what "Inception" would be like if goats and sheep directed it. Just pure lunacy from a physics standpoint.

First picture features roughly 23 thousand sheep going in and out of tunnels that look to be constructed by Wile E. Coyote. And from the looks of things, it appears that a duo of dogs and dudes are commanding this fleet, which is just straight up impressive. For a man and his pup to have the wherewithal and the free time to circumnavigate cartoon tunnels is worth a slow clap. On that note, it would take roughly 5 million dollars and a signed letter from Tim Burton telling me he's not involved in that zany construction for me to even consider leading these sheep on this journey. Hell it'd be like Oregon Trail out there. Every 15 paces, like 4 sheep would get dysentery, two would die from fording the river, and the dogs would get snake bites.

Second picture features what appears to be goats with suction cups on their feet. Now how a guy gets suction cups to fit the hoof of a goat is beyond me, but that's why he gets paid the (figurative) big bucks. These things are seriously walking up the wall like it ain't no thang. The slightest of inclines and I'm on my ass. I probably have the worst balance in the game without alcohol being added to the equation. As soon as I stopped playing organized sports, my body stopped caring about getting me from point A to point B effectively. Shit's a joke. I've got goats making a mockery of me now--scaling the god damn Hoover Dam just for fun, while I can barely tie my shoes without getting dizzy.

What happened to petting zoos featuring animals that didn't participate in Tim Burton-like illusions?

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