Monday, January 10, 2011

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Christian Bale's Probably Going To Die

For all you weight obsessed chicks out there, you should probably rock the Christian Bale diet. Dude basically dies every other movie. Movie producers can literally ask this guy to do anything and he'll have it done at the start of shooting. Here are two scenarios and how I think Christian wouldreact to them:

"Hey Christian, we need you to play a guy with one-leg.."--before they finish their sentence, Christian will reveal that he's been slowly cutting his leg since the start of the conversation. Just the type of batshit crazy actor he is.

"Christian, we've been looking for you to voice a character in a new Pixar movie"--He'll just nod his head, collect his check, cash that check, spend all the money earned on outlandish technology to turn him into a cartoon character. After obvious failure and completely broke, he'll reluctantly voice the character.

Moral of the story, this man will probably be dead due to his "dedication." Take it from me Christian. I don't work very hard and things are afloat. You can probably take it down a notch or 5.

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