Tuesday, January 4, 2011

// //

Have You Ever Been Hit In The Face With A Pigeon?

I'm hoping to god your answers no, because that'd be fucked up. But the judges will definitely accept "almost" as an answer. Whenever I go into Borders on my lunch break it's literally a dice roll of whether or not I'm going to get hit in the face with a bird. A real pickle if you will. I can go around the long way, but nah, I'm really going to test some faith. Plus it'd be letting the birds win if you go around. You can literally see them judging and talking shit in their dirty pigeon language. Humiliating.

Let me paint you a picture. There's like this circle with a walkway through the middle. The walkway leads directly to Borders, so I'm not trying to walk around. The issue is though, if you walk down that path the birds will try to decapitate you before you make it. Shit's like an American Gladiator event. People watching are like the audience and that weird homeless dude performing outside the store is definitely the announcer.

I'm just praying that one day I don't get hit. There's no coming back from that. Pigeons are the rats of the sky, and if I ever had one in or around my mouth, let's just say one of WMD's writers will be dead as fuck and Craw will take over the empire. G will sneak into the WMD will somehow barring if she'll ever post again.

0 Reactions to this post

Add Comment

Post a Comment