Tuesday, January 11, 2011

// //

I'm About To Crush The Crumb-Bum Scene

I don't start my new job until next Tuesday. That means you're not going to see anyone breach into the bum lifestyle and become a bum faster and more effectively than I will for the next 11 days.

The crumb-bum social scene is one of the elite sectors of society. You can't just start to smell funny and not shave for a little bit. It takes a state of mind. More specifically, the not-giving-a-fuck state of mind. Like today for example. I woke up exceptionally early today (9:30am) for someone who didn't have a job, and I was upset at this hint of production. So later in the day when I felt the slightest bit tired, I let all inhibitions go and passed out for an hour and change. That was me accepting the state of mind and going with it. Here's where I broke into the CB social scene. After waking up from that nap, I wrecked with the idea of making a microwave pizza. I figuratively smacked myself in the face and realized "wrecking with ideas" is the opposite of not giving a fuck, and hit "Express Pizza Cook" so fast on that microwave it would make your head spin (because no one can get their pizza too fast). Upon crushing that pizza, I got hit with a brief spell of the "itis" which for anyone who knows me/what that mean, it's probably time to find a bed or pillow stat. Since I was full on a crumb bum at this point, I closed my eyes, got all nestled under the blanket, and took my second nap in 3 hours and before 5pm. A true feat in the art of crumb bummin'.

In all honesty, I'm pretty sure a crumb bum literally means a person who lives amongst his crumbs and is completely fine with it. If that's the case I'm passing this class with flying colors.

0 Reactions to this post

Add Comment

Post a Comment