Tuesday, January 18, 2011

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What Maniac Was Out There Using Number 1 and Number 3 Pencils?!

Remember way back when you would have a Scantron test the next day and right before you left class the teacher's voice got all Darth Vader'y before they said, "And don't forget to bring your #2 pencil"? Shit gave me the heeby jeebies. Soon enough, I realized that even if I wanted to be a creative badass, how would I even go about acquiring a pencil other than the #2? Like, when you go to teacher school and they prepare you for emergencies within the classroom, does 'a student completing an exam with a non-#2 pencil' rank right up there with: 'the school is on fire', 'a child is missing', and 'where's the pet snake'? I'd say it does.

Let's talk about the kid who did somehow manage to swindle his way to an odd numbered pencil. I'm pretty sure he automatically becomes the scariest kid in school. There is not a chance in hell that I'm messing with the kid that stared his teacher and Scantron down and took the test. You can't dodge having an odd numbered pencil like you can dodge something like cheating. You're going down with the ship and you knew the outcome before it even happens. That's what I call, pure lunacy.

How about our forensics teams and CSI start profiling kids that have "cheated" on tests with other than #2 pencils. Guarantee that's where the bulk of our serial killers are.

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