Monday, July 11, 2011

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Digital Camera Prosthetic Eye Makes Tagging Pics Dangerously Easier

It's simply a matter of time before bitches nationwide decide to trade in their 20/20 organic eyes for these bootleg Terminator eyes. I'm going to wait it out until they're able to read people's vitals and potentially offer X-Ray vision. It's not creepy. It's like getting the Ipad 1 and two months later the Ipad 2 comes out. Kinda.

These eyes are going to change the bar game forever. I currently have 871 tagged Facebook photos with about 864 of them being me shitfaced or in the process of getting shitfaced. After one night in a seedy basement dancefloor full of broads with taggable retinas I have to believe that number is sure to triple. Albums will have like 11,000 drunk-ass pictures because no one can adjust the setting on their fucking eyes and anarchy will ensue. Employers won't hire/will fire you because they can easily reference the night you had downtown due to optical evidence. Shit will be like a flip book showing the process of ordering shots, looking for willing females to drink those shots, slugging 3 of them because no girls came, and throwing up in the back corner. Yeah, I wouldn't hire me either sir.

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