Wednesday, July 6, 2011

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It Takes A Special More Evolved Type Of Douchebag To Participate In The 3100 Mile Self-Transcendence Race

Look up everyone. Would you want any of those insufferable assholes in your corner for anything? Like if these guys had the cure to some terrible virus I was suffering from, I'd most certainly die awkwardly in front of them. Which ironically, would make me a hipster I think. That's why I hate these people. Forcing their shit in your face.

Imagine seeing these people every day on your morning commute, just creeping up behind you and sighing continuously with their runner's entitlement. One thing I hate more than I runner that I need to fucking pull over for like an ambulance is a an entitled runner. The one that pulls up behind you and loudly sighs so you know that you existing is impeding their workout. Sorry dude, I forgot you ran Cross Country in HS and had exactly zero fans every race and are expressing your bitterness at me on my way to the fucking T.

Apparently you have to rock 60 miles a day for 52 days in order to complete this D-Bagathon--aka impossible, aka you'll get awarded for trying, aka AYSO fucking soccer. I'm pretty sure this is one of those events where the cops allow you to kill people. They just turn the other cheek as you mow the streets clean of asshole hipsters.

thanks MD

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