Thursday, July 7, 2011

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In Case You Thought Otherwise, "Ghettopoly" Is Literally The Most Racist Thing Of All Time

^created by David Chang. Go figure.

How did this slip through the cracks? Was this catching dust in some bottom shelf at a dilapidated Toys R'Us in Arkansas? I'm pretty sure the black dude with gold teeth, a 40 oz. and a machine gun should have thrown up at least a mini-red flag for whatever bootleg Milton Bradley company decided to OK this.

Let's go over the logistics. The standard four railroads have been replaced with LIQUOR STORES, because people in the ghetto obviously use alcohol to transport them to and from work. This guy. I almost choked on a fucking Gummy Bear when I read the game pieces. Take a deep breath. Pieces read: a pimp, a ho, a 40oz, a machine gun, a marijuana leaf, a crack rock, and a motherfucking basketball. A basketball? Really? Somewhere in a humid German discoteca Dirk Nowitzki weeps. Ok, basketball may be the only legit one, but don't tell me the ghetto is littered with machine gun and 40oz wielding pimps and hoes inebriated off of weed and crack-cocaine. That's just not realistic. Not even in Grand Theft Auto.

That being said, Ghettopoly retails for $195.99 and I wouldn't be completely upset if it landed on my doorstep one day. Despite it's blatant racism, I feel like it'd be 100% effective in weirding out everyone within a 10 foot radius of me. Perfect to use on a date "that's just not working out."

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