Wednesday, July 13, 2011

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Friends Ask Dub: "How Long Does It Take Before You Text A Girl?"

-So here's a segment I'm going to give a go. Throughout my random chats throughout the day, I come across questions from friends that seem like they'd be a decent blog. And no, they don't know about it. Sorry, I'm a dick.

Question: When you get a girl's number, how long should you wait to text that girl?

Dub's Answer: I don't fucking know dude. I'm pretty sure people call me Nolan Ryan behind my back because of how many times I strike out. When I get a girl's number, it's pretty much how a random bystander would react if they see someone get shot. I kinda just stand there, mumble incoherently, and blackout. When I come to, 4 text messages have already been sent, with the last three being variations of, "WHY HAVEN'T YOU RESPONDED?!!!"

Now if I were a sensible, upstanding male in today's society that didn't open up with "I write a blog" at bars, we could be on to something. If that were the case, I'd probably be very casual--key being: be less drunk than all your friends. Sensible and confident=sexy. As always, it's easier said than done, but I'm just giving you the guidelines. Hopefully after following that path, you acquired a number. And unless you guys really connected (read: made out), don't toss her a text until the next day. Anytime you can avoid smelling of potent desperation, it's a good thing. Also, don't text her right when you wake up (unless she texted you, of course) because you don't know what kind of ring tones chicks have these days. Probably "ET" by Katy Perry on volume 100. That'll ensure a no-response. Wait until early afternoon and for Christ's sake, be chill about it dude.

Again, keep in mind, I have no idea what I'm talking about.

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