The Swag On This Wet-Ass Puppy Is Unreal

I think I'm in the market for an animal right now. A puppy would prevent me from spending literally 13 straight hours in my bed, attempting to order food, falling asleep before hitting "confirm purchase", and somehow waking up not hungry. Insane.

I'm just trying to purchase a puppy, douse it with a bucket of water, and let his ass run around a meadow field so he can dominate knolls all day. Inches away from Googling, "How to Buy a Puppy."