Friday, July 29, 2011

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World's Fattest Cat Refuses To Move...Like A Boss?



Wait, this cat lost weight? He's been working out? This is one of those cases where I write the post title without looking at the details. Oh well, what's done is done.

I'm a rare breed. I like cats, but I'm not a girl, lonely, a hoarder, or all of the above. It's tough not being ONE of those things and having a genuine love for them. That's why seeing this cat just brings joy to my heart. These things can get so fat, that they just refuse to move. You have to bring food and water to them or they'll just die. And be cool with it. I'm pretty sure that's baller. My cat's legitimately going on 16 years old which makes no sense at all. Not even trying to get emotional, but homie should have died in like '05. More power to him because he's just getting fatter and fatter and refusing to do more and more. When I go home I just watch him, a) to make sure he's alive and b) to see if I can get a read on what's going on with him. Maybe he's so old he's tired of the grind. Tired of jumping on tall things and being too scared to jump down. Tired of DECIMATING woodland creatures. Most of all he's probably tired of purring up on people to no real reaction. My mom hasn't petted him in easily 7 years. That shit weighs on you.

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