Friday, May 4, 2012

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Don't Want To Freak You Guys Out, But Sharks Have Lasers Attached To Their Heads Now

First things first, Austin Powers is a very funny movie. The scene when the dude starts screaming when the steamroller is 50 feet away is still a Top-5 comedy moment for me. With that said, we all gon' die.

What are we doing, world? I get that it's cool and profitable to talk about unrealistic shit like this in movies. A "fucking shark ate" Samuel L. Jackson in "Deep Blue Sea" and that was hilarious, but no one is clamoring for highly intelligent super sharks. Can't imagine going for a dip in a hotel pool and having a smart-ass super shark MacGuyver it's way in there with me. Toss a fishbowl full of water on it's head and an astronaut suit like it's Sandy from Spongebob. And it'll genuinely suck to die via shark laser. Cool heaven story, not a cool way to go.

PS. 100 Billlllllion Dollars, pinky to mouth.

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