Monday, September 19, 2011

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Anyone See That Pumpkin Growing In A Tree?

Now I'm not saying we are apocalypsing right now, but we are all probably going to die relatively soon. Thousands of birds dying in Arkansas, BP oil spill, earthquakes while I'm taking a bathroom nap are one thing, but fucking pumpkins are growing in pear trees now?! Might as well just cinderblock myself into the nearest river and avoid whatever's going to happen. I mean if I can't walk under trees without worrying about getting crushed by a god damn pumpkin, what can I do anymore? My American rights are being infringed like a mofo by these things.

Shit is going to be a struggle during the zombie apocalypse. Ground shaking, birds, pumpkins, and hurricanes falling from the sky, and zombies on my ass is not a good look for death.

Odds are I'll slip on some BP oil, bust my lip and bleed out.

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  1. Anonymous said... September 20, 2011 at 12:06 PM

    could be a very large pear?

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