Wednesday, September 21, 2011

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I Wouldn't Mind Playing Videogames And Eating Hot Dogs At IKEAs Dude Daycare Center

About god damn time. Going shopping with a girlfriend is the worst x awful. As soon as you get into a store, she disappears immediately. Peaced the fuck out and left you chillin' in the handbag section like an asshole. It's no one's fault. Girls love that shit and guys simply can't navigate the treacherous terrain of anywhere other than a Best Buy or a Champs Sports. We'd stand no chance in IKEA without the genius invention of the "Man Cave."

Videogames? Hot dogs? Yes fucking please. Read us like a book IKEA and I ain't even mad atcha one bit. I'm completely fine that our gender existence is summarized with a Foosball table, a Playstation, and some Ballpark franks. I'd be breaking IKEA 400 piece dressers and 58 piece beds like it's my job because I need to get back there and avenge my Halo loss against that other miserable boyfriend. I remember I went into the Coach store a few years back with an ex and I legitimately wanted to try to steal a bag so I'd get arrested and thrown into jail. No $4000 bags that all look the same in Rikers. Hey Coach, how 'bout you throw an off-balance foosball table and a sketchy Arabian dude serving me hot dogs out of some lukewarm water and I'll be set.

My mother bought a three-piece garbage can from IKEA my freshman year of college. A THREE piece garbage can.

2 Reactions to this post

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  1. Anonymous said... September 22, 2011 at 8:58 AM

    ikea's value has just skyrocketted in my eyes

  2. Anonymous said... September 22, 2011 at 9:30 AM

    the game has officially been changed

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