Monday, September 26, 2011

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Is "There's Only So Many Knights On A Chessboard" The Best Phrase To Describe Too Many Dudes Going To A Party?



Somehow my friends and I got an invite to a house party this weekend. I don't know how, but this is obviously not an opportunity to squander--some code blue/red alert shit. As a 23 year old dude, house parties are few and far between. It's either that our friend number has plummeted since graduation, we've developed a reliance on the bar/club scene, or that no one wants to invite us to their houses because we are for the most part, assholes. I'm going with all of the above on that one. This very well could be the last party I get legitimately invited to in my entire life. Scrounging around crashing parties and getting escorted out is most certainly in my not-so-distant future. One positive that surfaced in our excitement is that Craw dropped the illest quote I've heard in awhile.

"There's only so many knights on the chessboard"="My group of friends consist of alpha male douchebags, so the less dudes, the better" I couldn't have said it better myself. Once we all realized this party was happening, we started crunching numbers. The key to any self-respecting party is the ratio. How many girls versus how many guys show up. Ideally, you'd like to be there with a good amount of girls and a few of your friends. Can't make it too lopsided or else the dudes will get overwhelmed with "OMGs!!!" and be completely ignored/forgotten about. And obviously there can't be a sausage fest because people end up depressed and beat up at those. It's borderline a delicate chemical equation. Add one wrong element, shit explodes, chicks are crying and your nose is bleeding. So please refer to the chessboard and take a look at the pieces. Not everyone is a giant horse head.

PS. It literally took my dad like 2 years to hammer the explanation of the knight piece into my head when I was little. Little Dub was an idiot.

4 Reactions to this post

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  1. Anonymous said... September 26, 2011 at 10:57 PM

    hahah, very true

  2. Anonymous said... September 27, 2011 at 8:51 AM

    thats outrageous that you can think of this and put this into words

  3. Anonymous said... September 27, 2011 at 4:40 PM

    are we just assuming pawns aren't invited to these parties?

  4. Dub Jeezy said... September 28, 2011 at 11:39 AM

    by all accounts of society, I'm a pawn. but since this is my blog, I'm a knight/awesome/never wrong about anything.

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