Thursday, September 1, 2011

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I Fully Believe This Old Bag When She Says She's 121 Years Old



I hope no one's disputing this because that's literally the oldest thing I've ever seen. I've seen some sequoia trees, antique desks, and ancient turtles, but my girl Maria looks like hell. Weathered beyond belief. On some, "she might be dead" shit for sure.

Plus, doesn't it look like she just ate the illest Lemon Warhead of all-time? Something so diabolically sour that her face basically imploded on itself. Looks like a crumpled up plastic bag. Based on this picture alone there should be no debate about her age, so everyone should back off and let her fizzle to dust naturally and in peace.

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  1. Anonymous said... September 2, 2011 at 9:46 AM

    i will never look at a crumpled plastic bag the same way again

  2. Spellgirl said... September 3, 2011 at 4:38 PM

    I don't think she looks THAT old.... And is her name really Maria? Like the girl from "West Side Story?" Because if so, that would make this clip sad yet funny: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycTwZh4nBt0

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