Wednesday, January 11, 2012

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Better Indian Vacation: Get Your Head Scalped Off By A Leopard Or Consistently Drink Milk Infused With Bleach, Fertilizer, & Detergent?

No matter how you cut it (pun intended), your day is going to SUCK when you're missing 1/4th of your dome-piece because it got lopped off by a rogue leopard on the street. Knocks the pep right out of your step. I'd love to feel sorry for this guy, but I have to believe this is entirely his fault. Leopards don't just "pop up" in the middle of your local flea market. Dude's awareness must be staggeringly low to not hear the rustle of a leopard tearing through the street.

Shout out to the dude 4-5 feet away taking this picture who is undoubtedly chillin' in riot gear and football pads.

While I don't necessarily like my milk churned via rickshaw, I don't hate it either. I'm not the type of guy that disrespects an honest effort to be innovative. Put your milk in large metal moonshine jugs and attach it to the back of your bicycle in scorching heat all you want, just make sure there's no fucking bleach, detergent, or fertilizer in it. Is it that too hard to ask? Can't get into any sort of morning rhythm if I'm starting my day with Cinnamon Toast Crunch that tastes like poop and Tide Free & Gentle.

-What it comes down to is preference. Do you want to be mildly maimed for the rest of your life, but drink some of the most baller milk imaginable on the daily? Or do you want a sound scalp, but lack severely in vitamin D, calcium and die a slow bleach induced death? Choice is yours.

PS. It would take $1,000,000 in unmarked bills to get me to CONSIDER going to India for 24 hours.

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  1. Anonymous said... January 11, 2012 at 2:50 PM

    this is actually a really hard question

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