Friday, January 13, 2012

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Friggatriskaidekaphobia Is A Real Word And It Means "Fear of Friday, The 13th"

It goes without saying that this is the most egregious waste of letters in the history of letters. No matter how you cut it, there’s straight up no need for any word to have TEN vowels in it. Every time I try to pronounce it, I get halfway through, get tired and ask myself “What am I doing?”

If Jason Voorhees had no affiliation with Friday the 13th, there would be absolutely no hoopla and it’d be just a regular day that you wouldn’t make a Facebook status for. Unfortunately movie producers decided to create a 7’3, 400 pound dude that wields a perma-sharp machete and is immune to: fire, stab wounds, gun shots, death, drowning, explosions, and reason. A killing machine in the purist of forms.

If you’re one of those people that can’t function because of the date on the calendar, then you’re an asshole. Not trying to be mean, it’s just true. If it’s rainy out or you’re hungover (like today…and me), it’s understandable, but don’t bring luck or superstition into play. It’s January and there’s tons of motherfucking precipitation outside, of course today is going to suck.

If someone can change the name of Friggatriskaidekaphobia to “I’m an asshole”, things would be set back into order.

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