Friday, January 6, 2012
Posted by Dub Jeezy // at 2:12 PM //
Honestly, I have no idea how many FB Fridays I've done. That can't be good. Anyways, here we go:
1) Kay Jewelers Commercials
Life isn’t gumdrops, fairy tales, and Open-Heart necklaces by Jane Seymour. It’s a grind out here ladies. Every 30 seconds it’s either your birthday, Christmas, I cheated, or Valentine’s Day and I have to spend 1 month’s salary on an expensive piece of jewelry you’re probably not even going to like that much because you want me to get you “gifts from the heart.” I agree with the ridiculous practice of engagement/wedding (is there a difference?) rings, but I’m not about to let savvy TV advertising back me into financial burden icing you out like Lil Jon and the Eastside Boyz. Thanks JD-sorry for forgetting you.
2) Botched Marriage Proposal Video
This video reeks something serious of being fake, but for the sake of this write-up I have to say that this is exactly how I see my proposal going. I’m just so off-tune with what women are thinking that I may be dumb enough to take my future ex-girlfriend to a Jets game (fully knowing she hates the Jets, football and Jumbotrons) and propose on the Jumbotron in 2054. Can’t knock this guy’s hustle for one second. Thanks HS.
3) Justin Timberlake Engaged To Jessica Biel
Fellas, we lost an angel today. A true beautiful soul that kept us on the edge of our toes always wondering what the next move was. Anyone who thinks I’m talking about Jessica Biel is crazy because the male population lost one of the last true cocksmen this week. Gone are the days that I will see intros to “Extra” and “Access Hollywood” telling me that JTimbs went on a quadruple date with Sloane from Entourage, Halle Berry, and Adriana Lima. Not it’s time for lame US Weekly articles telling me that Justin and Jessica named their kid “Trashcan” or something celebrity stupid like that. Biel is a dime, but 7th Heaven was F-grade gremlin juice. Thanks JT.
4) Opinions on Vodka Ice-Cream
There is a 100% chance I gag when I take a shot of vodka. Call me a bitch, but my esophagus just ain’t down for that action. Ice cream really isn’t my bag either. I’m not gagging, but I’m not enjoying myself either. Plus people make fun of me because I only like Vanilla flavor and that leaves me open to TONS of “Vanilla Personality” jokes that I’m not prepared to defend. Ipso facto, this is a just a terrible fucking combination. BONUS QUESTION: “What hockey team do you like more: Bruins or Rangers?” Haven’t watched a hockey game ONCE in my life, true story. Call it stereotypical if you want. If I had to pick on a whim, I’d go Rangers because I’m a born-again NY sports fan. Thanks CG.
5) Dude Builds His “Fairy-Tale” Home for $4700
It goes without saying, that this has got to be the worst, most piece of shit house ever assembled. Must be dilapidated to all hell with rats and termites running the show from all corners. One of those places where “Yo Mama” jokes thrive. Like, “Yo mama so poor, she ring the door bell and her toilet flush” type shit actually ends up being depressingly true. I legit may have to go to the bathroom, wash my hands, leave the house, and ring the door bell to complete the operation. Sounds fun on paper, but it’s definitely not a good look in the winter. Thanks Tino.
6) Guy Gets Hit By Train, Gets His Body Severed, Severed Body Slams Some Unattentive Bitch In The Face and She Proceeds To Sue His Estate
This is just another cut and dry case of “watch where your body goes after it gets obliterated by a train and gets sent 100 feet in the air.” Saw that shit today. Dude got hit, made sure to have the dead person wherewithal to angle his body to avoid hitting bystanders. Now he’s able to have a standard closed-casket funeral with no financial complications. (Seriously, I didn’t even want to post this because there’s not many situations where you can put a funny spin on train-splattering gore, but I think I nailed it). Thanks Tino, you morbid fuck.
WMsDiary On Twitter
What's Hot This Week
@WMsDiary Remember back in the day when a raccoon would go into your trash can and that would be a minor inconvenience? Those da...
Instead of posting a picture of a man's ass, I chose a picture of a kitten playing with a parrot. If you're upset about that, then...
-CNN Reports: Boston Resident, 21, rearranged an entire weight room, killing 6 innocent bystanders. In general, I have always been a physic...
RANGE of emotions here. Initially you're confused. Then you're very excited. Then you're terrified. Then you're int...
You can't really feel THAT bad for a guy that voluntarily adds an apostrophe to "Richard" Here's Robert Ri'char...
The Old Stuff
- December ( 13 )
- November ( 33 )
- October ( 33 )
- September ( 26 )
- August ( 34 )
- July ( 31 )
- June ( 31 )
- May ( 21 )
- April ( 20 )
- March ( 28 )
- February ( 21 )
- January ( 21 )
- December ( 12 )
- November ( 23 )
- October ( 28 )
- September ( 19 )
- August ( 25 )
- July ( 23 )
- June ( 37 )
- May ( 34 )
- April ( 33 )
- March ( 43 )
- February ( 43 )
- The Working Man's Diary Podcast #5
- Friends Ask Dub: "How Long Do You Hold The Door Fo...
- Fuck Everything About This
- BostonTCrush.Com Has Cemented Itself As The Most I...
- Wayne Being Wayne
- Facebook Friday #7
- In The 1950s, Kids Were Literally Getting Lost Ins...
- Third Grade Thursdays
- The Working Man's Diary Podcast #4
- I Love Jay Bilas' Mid-Life Crisis So Much
- State Of The Union Went Off Without A Hitch..Excep...
- Girl Puts On Clinic Of How NOT To Blow Out A Candl...
- Greatest Parents Ever
- Game. Changer.
- Kids Are Creating Complex TI-84 Games Now
- Friends Ask Dub: "What Does "SMH" Mean?"
- Introducing The “Gym-Pact” App That Fines And Rewa...
- No Matter How You Cut It, Eating 1000 Peanuts In A...
- Working Late Is The Worst
- How Much Does It Suck That "My Heart Will Go On" W...
- The Working Man's Diary Podcast #3
- Is It Universally Known That "The View" Is The Wor...
- The Steve Jobs Action Figure Is God Damn Impressiv...
- Nice Book Bro
- Burger King To Test Out Home Delivery
- The "Don't Step On Fire" Sign Has To Be The Most O...
- This Frog Is An Asshole
- Can I PLEASE Get The Nod To Become One Of Boston's...
- Facebook Friday #6
- Friggatriskaidekaphobia Is A Real Word And It Mean...
- Guy Killin' The Iron Man Costume At Comic-Con
- This Crow Is Really Sledding Down The Roof
- I Respect The Hell Out Of This Bootleg Cell Phone ...
- What Does It Mean When Someone Sends You A Faceboo...
- Overdue Christmas Post
- Better Indian Vacation: Get Your Head Scalped Off ...
- Microsoft Being Straight Up Brash With Their New "...
- Working Man's Diary Podcast #2
- Check Out Dirk Nowitzki Dramatically Reading "Oops...
- There's A 100% Certainty I'm Getting Hit By A Bicy...
- Facebook Friday...#5?
- They Seriously Need To Stop With These "The Devil ...
- Stick Stickly Was The Worst Host Nickelodeon Could...
- If You Didn't Think There Was A Shower Curtain Spe...
- Automatic Doors Aren't Opening For Me Anymore
- The Return Of Sausage Pancake Bites Will Inevitabl...
- The First Official Working Man's Diary Podcast
- December ( 55 )
- November ( 47 )
- October ( 52 )
- September ( 48 )
- August ( 43 )
- July ( 44 )
- June ( 53 )
- May ( 39 )
- April ( 50 )
- March ( 57 )
- February ( 37 )
- January ( 40 )
- December ( 41 )
- November ( 42 )
- October ( 43 )
- September ( 53 )
- August ( 62 )
- July ( 63 )
- June ( 78 )
- May ( 66 )
- April ( 50 )
- March ( 61 )
- February ( 51 )
- January ( 36 )
Powered by Blogger.