Friday, January 27, 2012

// //

In The 1950s, Kids Were Literally Getting Lost Inside Computers

I can relate to this kid so much. Just an inquisitive soul that wanted to know how things worked. While all the other kids were playing sports and being active, young Dub J found himself lost in the woods, clothing racks, supermarket aisles, Madison Square Garden, Central Park, and just as recently as 4 years ago, the Boston College Football stadium. Life would be completely different for me if people were rewarded for being idiots and constantly getting lost.

I 100% should have been abducted at least 50 times. It's not that my parents were negligent, it's just that I was a dick. I was in love with the wriggle-free, sprint in the opposite direction, dart left manuever. Worked every time. I was just too slippery and stupid to be caught. At MSG, my Dad sent my cousin and I to get popcorn in the first quarter of a Knicks game and I didn't reappear until after half time. Darted left on them like crazy. So many tears.

I fucking fell into the pond at Central Park when I was 8 and when my dad fished me out, I was so embarrassed I ran off and got lost. While that gross ass pond did give me super radioactive blogging powers, it probably wasn't worth getting lost in the most dangerous park in America.

So I get it kid. Sometimes we don't keep our head on a swivel and end up trapped in a Macy's clothing rack for 15 minutes. Word of retroactive advice: just cry for awhile and a security guard will put you on the loud speaker so you can ask for your Mommy. Fool proof.