Monday, January 9, 2012

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Check Out Dirk Nowitzki Dramatically Reading "Oops I Did It Again" By Britney Spears

I would watch a 2 hour and 30 minute documentary titled: "The Shit NBA Players Did During The Lockout." I'd want it to be like "True Life" from MTV and follow 3 different NBA players doing very different things.

Dirk Nowitzki: After a torrid 127 day bender following their NBA Championship, it's back to work for the tall German with the herky jumpshot. He goes to the gym for 10 minutes, hits his first two shots and realizes he honestly doesn't need to work out. Dirk then calls Mark Cuban, pops on some hipster shades, takes a small hit of ecstasy and cranks out a dramatic reading of Britney Spears' pop hit, "Oops I Did It Again." Lockout defeated.

Blake Griffin: Quickly becoming the "NBA Funny Guy", Blake Griffin decided to go a bit overboard. As a pro athlete, Griffin didn't realize that people only want to see you X-amount of times. Do your profession and be in 1-2 commercials max or else you run the risk of being annoying as hell. Kia, Subway, and that's fucking it Blake.

Delonte West: Gun store, liquor store, gun store, gun store, liquor store, where the fuck are we?! We're with Delonte West. If you want to get precise, we are sitting behind Delonte on a Yamaha motorcycle, clutching a Guitar case full of AK-47s and Sour Patch Kids. This segment doesn't last too long because the sound is clouded with Chopped & Screwed music and sirens.

2 Reactions to this post

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  1. Anonymous said... January 10, 2012 at 8:11 AM

    sour patch kids line got me hahah

  2. bloggggggger said... January 10, 2012 at 6:26 PM

    I want to hit that " unfunny button " on DIRK' video-- your blog is painfully accurate--- lockout defeated !

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